Posted: Mar 26, 2013 11:41 PM
There is no doubt is so hard to do it all. As moms we wear so many hats, but the ones of mother and wife are worn under the same roof. In the craziness of the day, it is easy for the lines to blur and our identity of who we are can be easily lost.
As women we evolve from girlfriend to wife and now mother, but can the title of mother threaten the existence of our wife role? Being a mom takes so much from us and for a lot of us, we put all our effort and energy into our children.
But where does that leave our marriage?
The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center cites spending time together, showing respect and exploring common interests as a few of their 10 tips to having a healthy marriage.
Some of their tips include:
1. "Keep a sense of humor:
o Be willing to laugh at yourself.
o "Humorous responses (to be used gently and often) and the ability to develop and select light-hearted interpretations of life's inevitable awkwardnesses are of great value in aborting downward emotional spirals (interpretations where blaming the other person can cause great harm)."~ Roger Harms, Wichita Community Marriage Policy.
2. Master healthy communication:
o Speak to each other lovingly and respectfully; do not criticize, belittle, ridicule or reject your partner.
o Have patience.
o Be gentle.
o Be willing to listen.
o Be willing to talk.
o Be willing to validate what your partner is expressing, even if you do not agree with it.
3. Do "little" things that make a big difference:
o Affirm your partner and relationship daily by saying things like, "I love you," "thank you," "I'm sorry."
o Do things for your partner without being asked.
o Pray for your partner if you pray: "Our research shows that praying for your partner can bring you back to the common goals...When people pray, they become one with their spouse. A subtle shift occurs. Praying regulates your emotion and it never leads to anger. 'Knee-mail' is social support available 24/7. We know that couples who have access to social support tend to negotiate their relationships better than anyone else." ~Dr. Frank Fincham, Eminent Scholar and Director of the FSU Family Institute.
4. Choose your battles:
o Be quick to forgive and slow to anger.
o The worst possible advice you can give a newlywed couple is to express your feelings about everything. Far better advice is to choose your battles, so when you make a request of your spouse, and your spouse doesn¹t comply, step back for a moment and ask, "how important is this? Is this one of those issues I go to war over, or do I focus instead on what my spouse does for me, and let this one slide by?" Be creative about differences and find a compromise. If you talk to people in long-term, happy marriages, they¹ll tell you acceptance is one of the key components to making it last. ~Michelle Weiner Davis, author of bestseller Divorce Busting."
So in between car pooling, after school activities, homework wars and watching your children thrive, remember you are a great mom, but that the other parts of your life deserve attention to thrive too.
Read full article HERE.
What do you do to keep your marriage healthy? Do you struggle to give your marriage the attention it deserves?